Not Enough is Too Much
by twinchopsticks
Summary: When someone's lover comes home at 3:16 in the morning... It's their first thought to ask: where...? and why...? Often times people have no idea where their lover went... Yet other times...they know EXACTLY where they were, whether they want to believe it or not. T for themes


A single lamp glowed softly, casting a settle light across the room. Shadows stretched tall and shadows grew wide. No clocks ticked, no televisions blared loudly, or were they barely past the first bar of volume. The room was silent and still. Nothing swayed with rhythm, nothing fell from the shelves nor were they shoved across the floor. Everything was still...as if waiting for something.

Waiting for what I am not sure. But none the less waiting.

Perhaps the room was waiting for what he was waiting for. Yes...that seemed reasonable.

They were waiting with their owner.

He sat in one of the chairs, his legs propped up on an ottoman, a book comfortably nestled in the palms of his hands.

He had no expression really... His eyes just continued to scan the words and register them. He wasn't really into the story he read, a nice murder mystery novel, so his expressions didn't alter along with the plot.

While his eyes were glued to the page, his mind wandered freely. It explored different things that completely jumped across the spectrum of thought. From sweet innocent things, like his childhood, to the more morbid parts of life, like a funeral. Then of course there are always "in-between" thoughts. These thoughts mingled somewhere in the middle of those two extremes of good and bad.

A mind is an amazing thing...one will be focussed on something normal, say...work. But more often than not in the subconscious part of a mind, all energy will be focussed on _that_ instead. "That" being something of great importance...something that looms over you every day, that makes you sweat if thought of too much or too hard... Just an inception of thought, all boiling down to that one idea...

Antonio flipped a page.

As his eyes wandered the sentence, a noise interrupted his silent pondering. There were two parts of the noise, an opening and a closing.

"...I'm home."

Antonio lifted his head from the book, happily shutting it and letting it fall to the ground with a thud. He shifted a bit, but refused to get up from his chair.

His bright green eyes glanced at the clock next to him.

3:16 A.M.

Once again...Lovi was late getting home...

Once again...Lovi was suppose to arrive home at ten sharp, but was delayed.

Once again...Lovino casually came home hours after the set time and acted as if nothing was wrong!

Antonio furrowed his brows in frustration. Antonio hated the lack of communication that grew between him and his beloved Lovi. He despised the secrecy Lovino was beginning to present to their relationship. He wanted to tear down all those invisible walls that Lovino kept building and building with seemingly unbreakable material.

The Spaniard needed to know _why_ he couldn't be given answers..._why_ he couldn't be trusted by the love of his life...and most importantly..._why_ Lovino just couldn't tell him straight...

Not enough information for so long...was too much to bear... Too many variables floated around in Antonio's head. Too many scenarios, too many ideas... He just wanted the truth. That was all he asked.

How he wanted to just place a camera on the Italian's head...just to see what the hell he was doing! That would ease all his suspicions...all his worries...

But no.

Antonio knew _exactly_ where Lovino has been and why he's been there... It's just a matter of specifics.

Antonio's eyes watched the slim man walk through the doorway... His business suit was ruffled and messed with... The tie was no longer there swinging from his neck... Emerald green eyes observed the fact Lovino's hair was messy and his face was flushed, and his lips were parted as if he had been breathing heavily.

Lovino stood right in front of his Spaniard now...just watching as Antonio watched him. He couldn't blame the judging look that scanned him now...after all, he was a wreck! Plus, Antonio was accustomed to him coming home just as neat and tidy as he was before he left for work.

A frown etched its way onto Antonio's lips.

Not a good look on his usually happy face...

The Spaniard finally hauled himself up and walked the few steps to reach Lovino... He lifted Lovi's chin between his thumb and index finger...

"...My love...you have blood on your cheek..." Antonio said, rubbing the large splotch of the red stuff with his finger.

"...Oh..." Lovino breathed.

Antonio leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips, in which the kiss was eagerly returned. Arms instinctively wrapped themselves around Antonio's neck, and hands raked through chocolatey, thick, curly locks. Antonio found that he could only return the gestures by embracing the slightly smaller man, deepening the kiss a bit more.

He squeezed slightly, silently telling the other that he was _his_ and no one else's. A strong wave of possession and devotion washed through the two. Tongues began to slide in and out of each other's hot, enticing mouths after invading each and every crevice.

After a few minutes, the two pulled away, hot and flushed...saliva dribbling down one of their chins.

"Lovino...you have to tell me..." Antonio panted, pressing his forehead to the Italian's, "You just have to..."

"...I-..."

"If you don't-who _knows_ if and when it could happen...so please...don't lie to me anymore...I tell you everything, so why can't you tell me? Hmm...?"

A larger hand brushed away parted bangs that stuck to a sweaty forehead. Lovino breathed heavily, his own olive green eyes darting around his lover's concerned expression.

If he were to tell...it could mean terrible things for him... It could hurt Antonio so much...if all went through...

Antonio had brought up the subject in many different ways...

Violent ways...where furniture was thrown across the room.

Sentimental ways, with tears of concern racing down his cheeks.

Deadpanned ways, where he'd simply bring up the subject in the middle of breakfast...

Now...Lovino was beginning to feel the beating. The guilt that pounded his consciousness with each time the subject was brought to the table to be examined.

It had been months since he'd kept the secrecy afloat... It had been months since he had made that decision...

He was truly scaring Antonio...he was making him worry...and as hurtful as it was to Lovino...that _he_ was causing the love of his life this pain... He has to think. If he told him everything, and he was caught, Antonio could take a downfall of his own.

But Antonio was no better than he was...so it wouldn't have mattered anyway...

Still. If harm were to be inflicted, you would wish to be hurt as least as possible if such a wish could be granted.

Lovino sighed. He took a second of thought, before guilt got the best of him.

"...I don't want to drag you down more than you need to be," Lovino admitted truthfully. His voice was strained...tired...

Antonio could only scoff.

"Lovino Vargas. You and I both know what bullshit that is..." his eyes darkened, "If you go down, I go down with you. Whether they find out about our connections or not. I just need to know where you dumped him, how you did it and where...and you obviously didn't do a very good job cleaning up...otherwise that wouldn't be on your cheek..."

Fingers caressed the bloodstain that splotched Lovino's cheek. It was crusted and dry, beginning to crack... Unlike its natural state when it was a beautiful warm, dark, red liquid... A liquid that pumped through an organism, to keep its life sustainable. Now...the dry splotch was nothing. Just a shadow of its old self...

The Italian's cheeks flared up in embarrassment. He grabbed Antonio's wrist and yanked it down.

"I did a fine job of cleaning up! That bastard's body is scattered across the city... His arm in the ocean, his leg a pile of ashes in the street...! _Don't_ you _dare_ doubt my abilities to 'clean up'!" Lovino hissed defensively. It was quite a rude gesture to assume one could not clean up after themselves after such an act...

Antonio smirked.

"See? That's all I need to know... I don't doubt you...I just want to make sure you did it...and did it right," was the reply.

Lovino rolled his eyes.

"Says the man who came home with his entire shirt drenched in blood six months ago..."

"Hey, that was an impulsive act! I didn't _have_ time to clean up!"

"Well whose fault is that? It's not _your_ victim's fault you have a nasty temper when provoked..."

Antonio smiled lightly, "Ah but it was so fun~! I really should try a crowbar again sometime..."

The Italian smirked, the smirk cocky and knowing.

"Fine by me...but you're going to have to wait a few more months. We're up to our limit for now...before it begins to look serial."

The other's expression morphed into an almost childish pout. That of being denied a favorite toy at the store. He whined a little bit, fidgeting.

"But I'm really excited now..."

"Too bad."

Antonio sighed in disappointment before pecking a kiss on Lovino's lips again.

"Well whatever...but please...just...tell me these things, and I'll feel better and more confident that you won't be caught..." Antonio murmured sincerely, "And maybe next time...we can go together..."

Lovino's ears perked at this and his eyes flickered with adrenaline. He slid his hands up Antonio's front before coiling themselves loosely around his neck once more.

An electrifying sensation surged through the fiery Italian's body. To be able to do such a thing..._together_...as one... Yes...

Yes, yes, yes!

To be able to take an individual's life with his most important person...to _watch_ Antonio in action as the blood spurted their faces... To see that crazy in his eyes, as he mercilessly beats that soul to a pulp. Oh God...such admiration would pulse through his veins.

To be able to fuel their love just a bit more by hearing the screams of anguish and agony together would be that much more special and amazing! And to watch their victim's life...slip away in the dead of night, as they stood hand in hand would be enough satisfaction to last them their life times...

For them...watching that life slide away together would be equivalent to riding out an orgasm right after a long, passion-filled session of lovemaking.

While normal people celebrate the birth of a human being together...they are different. They celebrate the loss of life together, as their temporary role as God is reenacted in the most sinister of ways.

A smile of great pleasure and satisfaction smeared across Lovino's lips.

"That...that would be wonderful..."

That same knowing smirk implanted itself on the Spaniard's lips this time.

"An anniversary outing it is then..."

And that was the nail to the coffin.

Once again, they shared a sick, inhuman kiss that would forever stain their lips. Their passion and love fueled by that one similar addiction...that power to play God...even if they could only play that role for just a little while at a time.

* * *

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO ME AFTER I WATCH 3 STRAIGHT HOURS OF CRIMINAL MINDS :D **

**That is enough said about this piece haha.**

**OMFG I actually edited it! I actually edited my work! What is this? xD **

**Pfft I hope i got in deep enough insight on this... If not, i will be utterly disappointed in myself. I used to be a fantastic horror-psychological writer. But look at me now :C not doing so hot... but...whatever! I got this baby done! :D **

**Haha please r&r**

**-TC**

**Hetalia obviously doesn't belong to me otherwise this pairing would be hard core canon. **


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